You had me worried for a while there: You were telling again instead of showing. The first 20 or so paragraphs could easily be slashed to 10. You belabor the point about Nef's former (?) role as priest, Alex's attachment to the post-its, and the entire point about God as the super-director much more than is necessary. On the positive side, you make up for it once Alex leaves the graveyard. It's full-tilt action and shivers from there on out. I do wonder who these new people are -- ANOTHER haunted mansion? You do lead us an unmerry chase! The greenhouse gave me goosebumps: wonderful description of the squishy feel of the ground beneath his feet. One note: You might want to call it a conservatory. A greenhouse typically is a stand-alone building not connected to a house. For a moment, I thought he was back outside. It was just a mind trick caused by your choice of words.

Ahh, as for those other word choices: you had some masterpieces. "Almost holy, the post-its had become..." "The undulating darkness..." "Was it the hand of God that thrust his cold palm into mine..." Excellent descriptions.

All in all, a great read. Just needs tightening in the first quarter of the chapter.